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Safer Child Thoughts on Racism

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Nation’s race problem ours to solve

The Safer Child files on skin color are enormous. They grow so fast, they scare us. Bigotry, affirmative action, hate crimes, church burnings, racial preferences, Confederate flag issues, millions of tax dollars spent on race issues, political appointments, race-based organizations and events, overreactions and underreactions – the permutations and subtopics are endless and disheartening.

We keep these files because we want to keep track of the issues. But we fuss and fidget under them like we would under an ill-fitting coat. None of us was raised to focus on color, and we don’t want our children doing it. But racial issues and problems are sneakier than the draft under the front door; we can’t seem to keep them out.

We know that racism and bigotry exist. What we aim to find out is how we make the future, not just safe, but welcoming, for all of our children. We think a good way to begin the process is to talk. We don't mean finger-pointing or accusations, but rather an honest dialogue on some tough questions. Questions like these, for example:

	If it’s harmful and wrong to exclude people from societal benefits because their skin is darker, is it harmful and wrong to exclude people because their skin is lighter?
	Can focusing on skin color (for example, through race-based cultural programs and societies) ever give us an inclusive and color-blind society?
	Would it be helpful, as some have suggested, to structure affirmative action around need – not gender or skin color – so that white men in need can benefit along with women and male minorities? Would it also help to have specific goals, a specific plan for reaching those goals and an exit strategy – a way to disband an affirmative-action program once the goals have been met?
	We use the words "blacks" and "whites" as nouns, as if skin color makes the individual. Is this polarizing and harmful?
	People with similar skin colors might come from such dissimilar places as New York, England, India and South Africa. Therefore, is the concept of a "black" or "white" culture valid?
	Locating and correcting discrimination is what some people do for a living. Are some of them thereby encouraged to find problems where there aren’t any, as a means of job security?
	Can people with darker skin be racist? If not, why not?
	Is it true, as some have suggested, that people of darker skin suffer from a "culture of victimization?" Is it true that people of lighter skin suffer from a "culture of oppression?" Is it true that some or all people cannot help being racist?
	What are the gains this society has made relative to racism? What kinds of things should we be doing more of? What should we be doing less of?
	Which other questions should we be asking?

It seems to us that when people talk about skin color, some want to talk about a chair, while others want to talk about an elephant, and no one understands why everyone else can't see a thing as plain as the nose on their face. Here’s just one example. Let's say a university has 10 positions open, and one is government-mandated to go to a woman or minority. This means women and minorities are competing for 10 positions and white men for nine, right? Wrong, some would say. Women and minorities are competing for one position – the one mandated by government. This position assumes, of course, that white men run the university and hire white men whenever possible.

Left on their own, can the majority of North Americans live, work, hire and do business without bias? Maybe not. But Safer Child thinks it's crucial to continue to work for it and to never give up. We definitely won't get there if we don't believe it will happen.

The fact is that no one can change someone else's past experiences, and it's hard, perhaps impossible, to understand those experiences unless we've lived them. When people of different backgrounds talk about their lives, it's hard for others to understand, no matter how hard they try. And many of them do try. But they weren't there. They didn’t do it. They probably don’t know anyone who did. And so they might get impatient, thinking, "But that’s not who I am!" The irony is that these words: "It's a black thing; you wouldn't understand" can easily (and fairly) be written as "It's a woman thing," "It's a man thing," "It's a white thing," "It's a military thing," "It's a poverty thing," "It's a Hispanic thing." We all suffer from other people misunderstanding who we are. And therein lies some common ground.

People have to talk – and keep talking, even when they get tired, frustrated and angry with each other. The difficulty in discussing racism is that even when participants are willing and reasonable, even when they repeatedly push for clarification and are sure they understand – they still can get it wrong. They have to be prepared for that and be willing to keep trying. It's easy to push each other into a fight, to threaten to sue, or even just to ignore each other, calling it hopeless. It's so simple to use misunderstandings as proof of the problem and fuel for the fire. It's much harder to stay focused on the future.

But if we can stay focused on the future, we can make an incredible difference. We can be vocal – willing to ask questions and press for answers. We can be optimistic – certain the answers are there. We can be motivated by concern for our children – more interested in "How?" than in "Why?" We can recognize that there are people we'll never reach, and that if we stay focused on those few who won't listen, we will never see the many who will listen.

The country’s problem with racism will end when most of us want it to – when we find the character and self-discipline to look beyond our own selfish interests and work for common goals: our children and our nation. It will end when:

	we can debate racial issues without fear of being publicly and permanently denounced as racist.
	it’s accepted that all races are capable of both tolerance and bigotry.
	we believe that character, not skin color, makes a person acceptable or unacceptable, trustworthy or deceitful.
	we don’t leap to conclusions about others’ bad manners or poor behavior, and we stop using racism as justification for our own.
	we stop polarizing ourselves by arbitrary and inadequate racial labels, and we don’t instinctively flock together with like-labeled people – on golf courses, in schools or in "cultural" programs and associations.
	we acknowledge the media's substantial role in perpetuating the conflict, and we refuse to accept their reports as a national truth.
	we learn, as columnist William Raspberry once wrote, "to accept that ours is not the only reality – to understand that others can reach different conclusions without being any less decent and thoughtful than we are."
	we use the same standards for all races in all endeavors, and we can expect those standards without fear of being called racist.
	individual ability and the market dictate success; no one is "especially invited to apply"; and what’s "fair" is based on what’s fair to the individual, not the group.
	our laws reflect faith in each other rather than distrust. Instead of passing laws because "people are racist," we pass laws in case someone is proven to be unjust.

And mostly, the problem will end when we’ve taught these things to our children.

END

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