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Parenting Alone:Single, Divorced or Widowed Parents (or Grandparents)
Get It Before You Need It: Make sure that you always have access to (or notarized copies of) all the important paperwork: divorce decrees (prior divorces, too; these are required for some procedures), insurance, financial, banking, powers of attorney, wills, guardianship, birth certificates, prenuptial agreements, military paperwork, and any others. These will make all the difference to you in the event of a divorce, legal battle, or sudden illness or death. Don't wait until you need it to go looking for it. Deliberate Single Parenthood: We know there are many causes of single-parent homes, and we do not in any way minimize the tough road single parents walk. We are sympathetic to those who become single parents through death, illness or disability, divorce, separation, rape, incest or perhaps errors in judgment -- and we seek to give those parents as much support as we can. Many children in single-parent homes grow up to be well-adjusted and happy, and a tip of the hat should be given to single parents who make the sacrifices necessary to make that happen. We also would rather see a child live in a loving home with one parent -- than be stuck in foster care or in a situation that's absent adequate love and attention. But we worry about what seems to be a new and disturbing trend: deliberate single parenthood. We think it important to note that children from single-parent homes are statistically at greater risk (often at MUCH greater risk) for abuse, neglect, truancy, teen pregnancy, suicide, substance abuse, eating disorders, poverty, violence, or other problems. Single parents must work extra hard to keep their children healthy and safe, and they are at much greater risk for problems themselves. Like this research or not, it does make sense. One pair of hands can only do so much, and there are only 24 hours in a day. Therefore, we ask that people who want to become a single parent think long and hard before making this lifelong decision. We encourage them to examine the research, talk to single-parent friends, visit single-parent chat rooms and support groups, and answer honestly the critical questions of why they want to do it and whether they're emotionally and physically capable. Much of the extensive research we've seen on children and families does not support these common perceptions:
Research on Single Parent Homes: (We will be adding to this section. Please check back with us.) "Social science research is almost never conclusive. There are always methodological difficulties and stones left unturned. Yet in three decades of work as a social scientist, I know of few other bodies of data in which the weight of evidence is so decisively on one side of the issue: on the whole, for children, two-parent families are preferable to single-parent and stepfamilies." (David Popenoe, professor of sociology at Rutgers University)
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by Sarah McLanahan (professor of sociology and public affairs, Princeton University,) and Gary
Sandefur (professor of sociology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison) - based on four
national surveys and more than a decade of research, this October 1994 book argues that
children living in a single-parent family will not fare as well as children who live with
both parents.
"Life Without Father: Compelling New Evidence that
Fatherhood and Marriage are Indispensable for the Good of Children and Society", by
David Popenoe, professor of sociology at Rutgers University - March 1999