Children Must Be Taught to Communicate

Children Who Don't Communicate Well Probably Haven't Been Taught Well:  We occasionally hear parents say their children need classes in managing aggression or in self-control. That might be true, but chances are good that if a child has a problem communicating, so does the parent. Many people want to blame behavior and communication problems on some psychological condition or on the child, forgetting that children learn to communicate from the examples given to them. If a child can't communicate, the parents should first take a close look at themselves and other caregivers.

Parents Don't Listen:   Nowadays, it's hard to really listen. There's just too much going on. Parents are busy, and daycare providers and teachers have too many children to deal with. We've all done it: We try to communicate while reading, preparing something, watching television, working on the computer, shopping, or writing lists. And even when we just listen, we tend to listen for a break in the conversation that will allow us to get a word in.

And Teen-agers Have Noticed:  We recently saw a survey that delivered some touching results: Even teen-agers without discernible behavior problems all wished their parents listened more. One friend told us she talked to her teen in the car. They both had a long commute, and there was just the two of them, with no distractions. Additionally, much of her driving was done at night. All of this enabled her teen to open up to her. But many parents don't feel they have even this time to spend.

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