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Adoption

"Rebirthing" Therapy and other coercive techniques:  Be wary of organizations that tell you your child has "attachment disorder" and that they need to use a coercive technique to help the child be "reborn" or "vocalize" pain. Bonding with an emotionally damaged child takes time, love, patience, gentle counseling, and more time.

In April 2001, Colorado Gov. Bill Owens signed a law to outlaw the controversial "rebirthing" therapy that resulted in a 10-year-old girl's death. Candace Newmaker, who was diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder, was suffocated after being wrapped in a sheet for 70 minutes and told to force her way out. Two therapists were charged and convicted in her death.

Two Utah adoptive parents were charged with killing 4-year-old Cassandra Killpack in September 2002 by forcing her to drink excessive amounts of water. The parents have said they made the child drink just 12 ounces of liquid, but Dr. Todd Grey, Utah's chief medical examiner, has said that in order to develop the brain swelling that killed her, the child must have swallowed at least 2.5 liters of water in one sitting. Parents told authorities they were following advice from a Utah therapy clinic to help bond with the child by giving her an excess of whatever it was she wanted, but the clinic's owners and employees deny that they ever recommended forced drinking.

There are other coercive techniques used to supposedly help children bond. In one, a therapist lies on top of a prone child to restrict the child's breathing. In another, a therapist uses a "deep tissue massage" using his hands and knuckles to press into the child's abdomen and ribs. Such techniques, while generally not illegal, are thought by other therapists to risk causing added emotional trauma, organ damage, impaired cardiac function, and asphyxiation.

If you decide to use an adoption "facilitator," research the agency and person before handing over any money. Fraudulent and unprofessional behavior may or may not be in the minority of adoption professionals, but you don't want to lose your hard-earned money (and perhaps your only chance to adopt a child) to the one unscrupulous person on your area. The Better Business Bureau is one place to check for complaints.

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For more on adopting, on being an adoptive parent, or on placing your child for adoption:

bullet AdoptUsKids - public/private partnership between the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) and the National Adoption Center "to increase adoption opportunities for foster care children"
bulletState departments of Health & Welfare
bulletChildren's Bureau (program of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services)
bulletNational Resource Center for Special Needs Adoption (Service of the Children's Bureau)
bulletAdministration for Children and Families links to Web sites for state welfare agencies for foster care and adoption.
bulletChild Welfare Information Gateway (Service of the Children's Bureau)
bulletFamily Works - Parenting 101 - Is Foster Parenting for You? - difficult and enlightening questions to ask yourself
bullet Concerned United Birthparents - support for birthparents
bulletSafer Child page on What Not To Ask An Adoptive or Foster Parent
bullet The OrphanDoctor - a pediatrician specializing in adoption medicine
bullet KidsHealth - "Medical Issues in Adoption"
bulletNational Adoption Center
bullet The Learning Center (National Adoption Center)  - support for adoptive families
bulletNorth American Council on Adoptable Children
bulletAmerican Association of Open Adoption Agencies
bulletThe Adoption Guide - advice on avoiding fraudulent agencies
bulletLegal Information Institute - information on U.S. law concerning adoption
bulletCasey Family Programs - foundation provides an array of services for foster and adoptive families.
bulletCasey Family Programs - for help with tax questions specifically related to foster and adoptive families
bullet Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption
bullet Children's Rights - advocates for abused and neglected children in foster care
bullet Youth Law Center - advocates for abused and neglected children in foster care and juvenile systems
bulletAdoption Policy Resource Center - links to agencies and organizations. Includes section on international adoptions.
bullet International Soundex Reunion Registry - a service to help adoptees find next-of-kin
bulletKids Are Important: A Book for Young Children in Foster Care - Lifetrack Resources, 709 University Ave., St. Paul, MN 55104, or email familiestogether@lifetrackresources.org

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International Adoptions:

Be well-informed: Safer Child, Inc. includes links to these organizations as a courtesy and makes no recommendation as to their veracity or effectiveness. It is particularly difficult for us to know how well an international organization is run. Do your homework before conducting business with any adoption agency. Know with whom you're dealing, and make sure you are well-informed about their business practices before you hand over any money or sign any contract.

Look through our links: We do suggest that even if you are considering an international adoption, you take a few minutes to look through the links above on adoptions in the United States. Some of these are informative on adoptions in general, and might help you and your new family member adjust more easily.

bullet Joint Council on International Children's Services - association of licensed nonprofit international adoption agencies
bullet Kidsave International
bulletAdoption Policy Resource Center - links to agencies and organizations. Includes section on international adoptions.
bullet U.S. State Department - information on international adoptions (1-888-407-4747. Citizens abroad can call 1-317-472-2328)
bullet Bureau of Citizenship and Immigration Services - offers helpful information on immigration
bullet Bureau of Citizenship and Immigration Services - for information on Inter-Country Adoptions - click on "Services and Benefits," then down the left side, find "Adoptions."
bullet International Concerns for Children, Inc. - offers for a small fee the "Report on Inter-country Adoption," which lists licensed agencies, information on costs and health-testing requirements for children and potential adoptive parents
bullet International Soundex Reunion Registry - a service to help adoptees find next-of-kin
bullet The OrphanDoctor - a pediatrician specializing in adoption medicine
bullet KidsHealth - "Medical Issues in Adoption"
bullet A Hope for Children
bullet Adoption Advocates International
bullet Chinese Children Adoption International
bulletAll God's Children - nonprofit adoption and relief organization
bullet World Association for Children and Parents
bullet Great Wall China Adoption

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Safer Child, Inc. is a 501(c)(3) charitable organization with federal tax-exempt status. Please note: 1) External organizations listed herein do not necessarily endorse Safer Child positions, nor do we necessarily endorse theirs. We list them as a courtesy and aren't responsible for their accuracy, completeness or content. 2) We recommend you maintain a healthy skepticism when reviewing information on the Internet; it might appear to be reliable --  yet actually be false, misleading, incomplete, out-of-date and/or intentionally harmful. 3) There might be material on the Internet that you disagree with or find objectionable; preview all sites before viewing them with your child. 4) We are not responsible for external addresses/phone numbers changing without our knowledge. 5) The information and commentary on this site are not substitutes for professional advice from your doctor, lawyer, or mental health professional. 6) Requests for permission to republish, copy and/or distribute any material found on this Web site should be directed to Safer Child, Inc.

This Web site is supported by donated services from SISNA of Eastern Washington and Northern Idaho,
and has received a grant from the Wendell P. & Barbara J. Marshall Family Trust in the Idaho Community Foundation.
Safer Child is also supported by Time4Learning.com, online education from preschool through middle school.
 

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